Scuba Fuckin’ Diving
July 24, 2006I don’t know what’s all the fuss about scuba diving. I hate the preparation, wakin’ up early and the travelling. Oh my god! And the worst part? Travelling back! When you’re all tired and beat up. Just like goin’ to the beach. Man I hate comin’ home from it. Eversince I was a kid, I never really liked the underwater. I hate those dark, murky scenes in movies where you can’t tell what the hell is out there. And then suddenly, something just bites a chunk off your ass. Gives me nightmares. The worst of them all is Finding Nemo. Do you remember that scene with Dori and the whale? The water was so dark and the whale just kinda sprung in front of them? Man, I hate that scene. But I’ve been to snorkeling with my dad and his friends though. The thing I loved about it is that we had them huge badass spears. Then we’d eat all the fish that we killed. I didn’t contribute much though, I went for them ugly fish that looked real stupid and moved slow. I better ask my dad where he put my spear, I could use that in the office. I’m really not a fan of deepsea diving with dipshits. Now tell me, who would you want this guy to be? (for ctc)
My Amendment
July 4, 2006Nobody unites the nation like Manny Pacquiao. Everyone thought it would end in disaster after Pacquiao staggered after being hit by a a flurry of punches by the challenger Oscar Larios. But as it turned out, the only disaster was Larios’ face. The punch was just a fluke. For the rest of the fight, he couldn’t hit Manny anymore, he’s too slow. Manny’s new nickname should be “the ghost”, because whenever Chololo threw a punch Pacman ain’t there no more. What kind of nickname is “chololo” anyway? It doesn’t strike fear to his opponents. It just made me laugh. I understand if his dad called him that when he was little but the nickname that they should use should be something relateed to his fight or how “devastating” his punches are. Something corny like ” the destroyer”. I mean, who cares about his father not able to pronounce his name properly? Anyway, back to my amendment, during Pacquiao’s fights, everything is put on hold. Opposing politicians sat side by side at ringside, celebrities are always present and for the townsfolk, everyone glued to their TVs. The economy is revitalized and crime rates are down. So in conclusion, my amendment is to make the president a boxer. At least our president can unite the country two days a year, whenever she has a fight. Nothing draws the entire nation together better than a clash for the Republic’s pride. She can fight north Korea’s Han Myung-Sook. She looks fiesty and bigger than Arroyo but I believe her quickness will win it for us. But that reach might be a problem, wth the jab. Anyway, if she trains hard she’ll probably win it. Gloria “little monster” Arroyo, wow now that’s a badass nickname!
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